Sep 8 2014

Paul Williams

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Addictions

THE LEGEND OF THE LOST

THE LEGEND OF THE LOST

 

One of the constants in my life is travel.   My luggage is so weathered it looks like it was plucked from a yard sale.  Henry Fonda carried it in “Grapes of Wrath”!  It’s been lost several times but has always been returned to me.   Boomerang baggage.

I lose things. Actually, that’s incorrect.  I leave things. It’s not good. Never much fun. Realizing something’s missing means a trip to the edge of panic, slamming on the spiritual brakes at the last minute and hitting the “settle down boy” button.  It means going to work, treating, praying for the lost items return; actually knowing it’s coming back. The power of positive pleading.

An interesting side note. When I’m the one that’s lost there’s usually a weird little calm that comes over me. It’s an adventure.  I’ve often said I do my best work when I’m lost.  Mariana considers that one of the strangest of my utterings. Why would anyone enjoy any part of being lost?  Hard to explain.  It’s a distant cousin of “powerless” and a descendant of the “surrender” clan.   A little like the headache that disappears the minute you’re kept home from school and the resulting grin that’s hard to hide.

Continuing the theme begun in “Missing in Action”,

I’m absent minded at the worst of times.  Jumping up to catch a connecting flight, I’m a repeat offender at the lost and found window. A simple solution would be to establish a routine. Display a little discipline.  Upon leaving an airplane seat I should always..  Make that ALWAYS…  ask myself, “Paulie, what did you take out of your back pack that you need to repack before you sprint for the next gate?”

A checklist.  So simple.  I’m going to start doing that.  Soon.  Really.

Sadly, there have been too many times when that scenario was replaced with the “Hotel Horrors” version of life in the land of “Oh No!”   I’ve just checked into the hotel, plopped down on the bed and as I kick off my shoes the scenario goes all Kafka.

I’m suddenly struck with the wretched reality that something is amiss.  The breathless search for my iPad, iPhone, eye glasses, car keys, passport, shades or computer takes all the air out of a room.

It’s’ a dance that usually ends happily with a loud, long “Whew!” when I find the missing object.   I often find things where I looked first but didn’t look long enough.  When I panic things become invisible.

Enough. The new me has a check list.

I’m amazed at how long it sometimes takes me to hit solution.  Yes, turning to faith, trusting in a positive outcome that assures the ‘highest good to all concerned”, KNOWING that if something is mine it will be back is powerful medicine.  And it’s not as if there’s a limit on the amount of miracle moments we’re allowed in a lifetime. But, I’ve begun to feel as if I might be abusing something really magical. That’s why I don’t have a parking space Higher Power.

Wait a minute.  That’s not true. I lied

I didn’t mean to.  It just came out.  Gotta clean that up right away.

There are times when I find myself asking, (usually camouflaged as a joke)  “Uh, Big Amigo, it’s time to see the taillights of someone backing out.  I’m a little late for a meeting and I really, really need a parking space and … There we go! THANK YOU!”

I do.  And it often works.  But, I still want to make the point I was trying to make.  By introducing a little discipline in various areas of my life I can grow as a functioning adult and still celebrate the gifts of my faith. And, at the same time show my respect for the process by not overusing it for essentially petty problems and self-induced drama.  Thus, preventing panic prayer by applying my own right action.

There.  That’s what I meant.   I’m liking this now.  Because, you also get to see a little recovery in action.  Cleaning up the little beige lie.  I just employed an affirmation from our book.  “I will make right the wrongs I’ve done wherever possible.”

So much of what Tracey and I have created is about abandoning destructive behavior.  We’re also big on solution.  And solution often requires the simplest of actions.  What needs fixing in your life? Are you always twenty minutes late? Will cleaning the desk drawer make it easier to find the things you need to get out the door and to work on time?  I have a bowl where my keys are tossed the minute I come in the door so they’ll be there when I leave.  Usually.

As we travel this world there’s so much joy to experience, so many interesting people to meet.  Less time spent looking for lost items means more for the best of times. Days well spent with Good Orderly Direction that lead you from items lost to serenity found in Gratitude and Trust.

 

Paul Williams

Paul Williams is a singer, songwriter, actor, recovery advocate and has been a fixture on the American cultural scene since the seventies. His book Gratitude and Trust is now available.