Nov 5 2013

Paul Williams

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Ego, Gratitude, Living Fully, Mindfulness

STINKING THINKING

STINKING THINKING

There’s an old joke about a fellow going to borrow a shovel from his neighbor.  Walking over he remembers that during the summer he borrowed a screwdriver that he never returned.  He begins imagining the conversation with his generous friend who he begins to see as a self-righteous ass.  By the time his friend answers the door he’s fuming and screams, “Keep your fucking shovel.”

I think we’re all guilty of that little role-playing exercise. We become the designated hero in a private melodrama.  Feels good to indulge in bit of  infantile outrage.  t’s the busy head practicing the low art of defensive thinking. I try to be vigilant and shut down those conversations as quickly as possible.

An easy exercise is to check each of your senses and be grateful for them. What am I seeing right now? You can be grateful for your vision even if you’re staring at the trash that needs emptying. Be conscious of the sound and celebrate your hearing.  You get the idea.  Actually take a moment to feel your feet as they connect to the earth.  Stand there and celebrate the fact that you know you’re stable on a spinning mass and that somebody was brilliant enough to discover the world was turning. Be thankful for the genius that lived before you were born.  They invented carbonation and powdered sugar.

Termites destroy more homes than earthquakes do.  I love that. Not the destroyed homes part but the power of a decent metaphor.  Because those negative, angry or defensive thoughts running amok in a busy head are like termites nibbling away at our most precious commodity.  Time.

When, as my friend Wes describes it, the rats get to chewing on the wires, we become distracted and dislodged from the world around us as it is.  Have you had that strange moment when you realize you’ve driven miles past your normal turnoff to go home and that you had no idea.  Lost in thought is the perfect expression.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of daydreams.  I think they’re the birthplace of some of the sweetest ideas I’ve been allowed to help bring to life.  But, their dark cousin, the revengeful,  “I’ll show them’ Paulie needs to be put on the clock.”  There’s too much going on in the real world that I want to participate in. People I need to give my time to.   Especially at this age when a year seems to fly by in about eight months.

Imagined insults aren’t worth my attention.  So when I nod, say hello, or acknowledge a fellow runner and he totally ignores me I can remember that running is our meditation as well as our exercise.  Not slip on the robes of Judge Mental and think:  “Would it kill ya to nod back?”    Why that arrogant.   Doesn’t he know who I used to think I was?

Instead I can admire my fellow runners discipline as I celebrate the morning in my slow, steady jog, concentrate on my breathing and bounce along in gratitude and trust.

 

 

 

Paul Williams

Paul Williams is a singer, songwriter, actor, recovery advocate and has been a fixture on the American cultural scene since the seventies. His book Gratitude and Trust is now available.