ROUND TUIT
TODAY TRACEY AND PAUL BLOG ON THE SAME TOPIC
Six months ago my son Cole, a magnificent example of a well-tuned mind and body, observed my lumpy presence poured into too tight Levis and commented, “Dad, you’re beginning to look like a cookie jar.” I glanced at the mirror where I got a decent view of my shoes, well hidden with various other body parts under my bulging belly. Not a pretty sight.
It could have been that glaring, nasty, “how dare he, who does he think he is” moment that one can ignore and stuff with more food, booze, excuses, etc.. Or the moment when you can let the truth shine its ever loving light on the situation. The truth will set you free. One can rant and rave and trot out the excuses until the heart just stops and the body we’re abusing assumes room temperature. Or we can change. Something has to.
It’s a major element in the book Tracey and I are writing. “Something Has To Change and It’s Probably Me” is the first in a collection of affirmations that when accompanied by right action begin to improve life, improve health and offer a guide to certain disciplines that are keys to staying on the road to freedom.
I’d changed my behavior twenty-three years ago when I put the “plug in the jug” and it was the most instantly gratifying action of my life. I was forty-nine years old when I got sober. I didn’t have the best childhood, but I had the longest.
The fact is my recovery involved a process that required specific actions; some not especially pleasant. One that looked really nice on my psychic back burner.
After I had been sober for many months a dear friend and mentor met me for lunch.. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a circular piece of brass about three inches wide and clanged it down on the table.
“You know, you said something the other day, Paulie, that made a lot of sense.” When I wondered why you hadn’t gotten around to that list I asked you to write you said you’d been meaning to “get around to it.” Well, congratulations! You’re now the proud owner of a ‘Round Tuit” I read those very letters in bas relief on the coin.
He’d made his point. I had been playing fast and loose with something that needed to be addressed right away. The work he expected me to do I quickly finished and it offered the gift of continued sobriety and a life that to gets better every day.
My son was now offering me a similar gift. “This is the truth Pops. This is who you are today. You can change that if you choose to.”
I put my arms around him and said, “I’ll try.”
I did more than try. I started walking every morning. About 20 minutes. Then jogging. Then running. Well, my version of running. About twice as fast up and down as I was moving forward. But, it worked. And it became a happy habit. Every morning I run. At least 2 miles. My pace is slow and easy but I sprint at regular intervals to get my heart rate up. It’s been years since I’ve eaten meat or fowl. I’m a “Pescatarian”! I eat fish, vegetables and fruit. The heavy pasta intake that was part of my diet has been replaced with more salads and the sugar has all but disappeared.
It’s 30 pounds later. And I’ve learned to love the way I now live, move, eat, run. Everything feels better today. I finally got a ’round tuit’!
BY PAUL WILLIAMS
How funny is this – Paul and I just sat down at our dueling computers to co-write this blog about not putting things off and the first thing he said was “ You know I can do this later.” I said, “Write.”
Last week’s blog about my finally getting my butt to the Social Security office and the DMV resulted in many emails from people sharing their own stories of what they have been putting off.
We all have a list of the things we are going to “get round to” or “roundtuit.”
Now they can be as simple and unimportant as emptying the trash, which unless you let this go for a week or two is not a big deal! Or it can be as severe as quitting a life threatening habit or losing those thirty pounds that are hanging onto you like a barnacle.
Quitting smoking. Getting a colonoscopy. Cleaning out your closet and getting rid of the clothes you haven’t worn since the first Bush was in office. Balancing your checkbook. Getting the tires checked, it’s fine until one blows on the freeway.
How many times has there been some calamity in your life and your response was, I was going to get around to it this week, yesterday, this morning?
The robbery I referred to in my last post could have been avoided. I had a chest where I kept my valuables. For months, years in fact I had been “getting round to buying a safe.”
I had a box of things that had belonged to my grandparents. I was getting round to taking them to the bank vault. The day after the robbery I bought the safe. My family keepsakes…well, I should have gotten around to it.
A lot of the “roundtuit” things tend to be either boring or good for us. You never hear, “I’m gonna get around to getting laid.” “I’m going to get round to having a big steak and some fries.” The “round to it stuff “ is the stuff discipline is made of. They are more often than not the things we need to do to keep our hearts, minds, bodies and lives in order.
In the book Paul and I are writing we have a path to get you through this stuff. But for the moment my advice to you is this – sit down and make a list of six most important things you have been putting off, your “roundtuits”. They can be anything from leaving a dead relationship to making sure you know where all your insurance cards are or drawing up a will. I mean it. You think these things don’t need doing … Until life yells you should have gotten “round to it.”
Then write down when you are going to do them. Go to your calendar, it’s not hard it’s probably in your computer and make an appointment to get it done
Be firm with yourself, but give yourself some time. This list did not grow overnight and you will not get it all accomplished in a week. Sometimes we set ourselves up for failure by not being realistic as to how long things take.
Getting your wheels rotated can take a few minutes. Losing the thirty pounds might take you a year to do it right.
Have you been meaning to start paying your bills online? Set aside one evening and do them all at once. You will feel great.
When was the last time you got a full check up? You say you’ll get round to it, until something could crop up.
Look at the items on your list carefully and ask yourself what is the worse case scenario if I don’t “get round to it” now. My guess is if you are honest, you will get round to it sooner than you think.
BY TRACEY JACKSON
Tracey Jackson is a screenwriter and blogger at traceyjacksononline.com. Her book Gratitude and Trust is now available.